“Perfect” is literally the only word I have to describe my engagement party. It was absolutely perfect. We invited our closest family & friends, and spent hours on a Long Island City rooftop with strong libations and delish from-scratch Italian food.
Now, I’m going to be honest. Everyone kept asking me if we were going to have a shindig, and I just shrugged it off. Did I need an engagement party? No. Did I want one? Maybe. Ultimately I decided we would have one, mostly because the majority of our family still hadn’t met (and we’ve been together over 6 years). I’m here to tell you: I am so glad I did. I wouldn’t have changed one minute of it. If you’re on the fence like I was, just go for it.
This blog post is for all of you planning an engagement party—whether it’s for yourself or a special bride/groom in your life. Keep reading for how I planned mine (without breaking the bank), because I want you all to have perfect engagement parties, too.
Planning
Budget
First thing’s first: budget. But for real. Establish a total budget. You can then break that down into food, drinks, music, decor, or whatever else you’d like. I only wanted to spend a couple of thousand MAX (because we got a wedding to pay for too, you know) so that’s where I started.
Ideate
Once you’ve got the money in order, you can ideate about what exactly you want to do. There are so many types of engagement parties! And it can be as small or as big as you want it. Throw one in the backyard, bar or restaurant, or a rooftop like I did. Brunch, luncheon, cocktail hour, dinner, or after-party—the world is your oyster!
We chose a rooftop, because it had special meaning to us. One: we met in the city, we live in the city, and we got engaged in the city (cue my proposal blog post). And two: our very first date was at a rooftop in LIC with breathtaking views of New York City’s skyline. Not to mention, we invited friends and family from Long Island, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey so I obviously wanted to give them a party they’d remember forever.
For my celebration, I didn’t want it to be super formal. I wanted everyone to be able to meet, mingle, and have a good time. This led me to do a cocktail-hour sitch with drinks and hors d'oeuvres.
Guest List
Next up, who are you inviting? Gio and I chose to have a small guest list, only 25 of our closest family and friends. Now, this is where it can get tricky. Obviously, we would have loved to invite everyone we know, but I really took into account my budget, location (because our guests would have to travel a few hours), and our overall goals for this party. Besides wanting to celebrate our engagement, I really wanted our families to meet. I also just prefer smaller get-togethers, I feel they’re more intimate and meaningful. But whatever floats your boat!
Date & Time
Saturday, September 18 was our date. Ideally, an engagement party should be thrown 2-3 months after the couple gets engaged. Gio proposed the end of April, and September was actually the first time I could coordinate with all our guests. It was the summer after being locked up for a year so EVERYONE had non-stop weekend plans. But honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We’re having a long engagement (since we’re up against all the covid-rescheduled weddings), and we’ll actually be getting married in the month of September. It just felt right.
This will also help determine your venue. Us wanting a rooftop depended on good weather. If you’re partying in cooler weather, opting for an indoor location would be best. For me, I’d only think about an outdoor affair in late spring, summer, and early fall. My recommendation here would be as flexible as possible. My date was not flexible, which did give me some trouble.
After choosing to do more of a cocktail vibe, I had the party take place from 4-7pm. I also did this time for a few more reasons. First, this gave my guests enough time to travel there and back, if they chose to not stay over. And second, this would ensure we would be able to experience the skyline views in the day, at sunset, and with the night lights.
Venue
Alright, this one might have been the hardest for me since I had a very specific vision in mind. And if you know anything about NYC, it’s $$$. Venues in Manhattan were way out of my budget and honestly, I wasn’t in love with the scenes. By bringing it across the river to Queens, I was able to find a rooftop with incredible views yet at a lower cost. I also chose a hotel venue so my guests could book a room and sleep over if they did not want to travel home that night. Those who did stay joined Gio and me for an authentic Italian pastry breakfast, before we dropped them off at Penn Station.
Do your research! Hit up that Google search and reach out through websites and email—there is usually a “private events” tab that allows you to input your date, occasion, guest count, etc. and someone should get back to you to discuss details.
While speaking to venues, if you’re planning an outdoor gathering, I’d advise figuring out a plan B if it rains. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t FREAKING OUT and checking the weather every ten seconds as soon as the 10-day became available to make sure it wasn’t going to downpour, because my backup option was not nearly as cute as the rooftop.
But be ready for trials and tribulations. That’s all part of the planning, amiright? I had been speaking to the manager of another rooftop, got all the way through to creating a menu and signing a contract, only to be told by the coordinator that they actually had a wedding that day so I couldn’t have my party there. I was pretty devastated, to say the least. Everything worked out, though: I ended up booking a better rooftop right across the street.
Food & Drink
Food and drinks were VERY important for me. Gio and I are foodies, and we wanted that to show. Not to mention, NYC is known for its food so we weren’t going to disappoint. Luckily for us, our rooftop & hotel venue ALSO had an Italian restaurant on the first level. They make all their food in-house, from scratch.
The events coordinator and I worked together on a menu that would suit our needs. This is where I really let her take the lead since she’s done this before and had fantastic recommendations. Our final menu consisted of a Greek Salad, Chicken Milanese Fingers, and Rigatoni Vodka (which was the star of the show) platters. We also had three different types of pizzas to enjoy: a typical cheese and sauce pie, a veggie & no cheese pie, and my personal favorite, called the Rooftop, with ricotta, arugula, and prosciutto.
Knowing my friends and family, I opted out of an open bar and did more of a cash bar. However, I foot the bill. I had a minimum spend (of food AND drink) that we actually didn’t even hit when the party was supposed to end at 7pm. Our venue opened the rooftop to the public at that time, though there was barely anyone, and let us continue to party as long as we wanted. We ended up calling it a night at 11pm.
Many venues have a catering situation that you can take advantage of, but don’t get taken advantage of. If you’re planning more of a house gathering, I’d suggest a potluck where everyone brings something to contribute.
Invites
It really depends on how fancy you want to get, but you have to let your guests know about the party somehow. I designed a free digital invite and texted it out to my fam and friends. There are tons of sites out there with easily customizable templates. Printed invitations can get pretty pricey, which is something to keep in mind.
Decor
I went back and forth on whether I wanted decor or not. I didn’t want to take away from the gorgeous views, aka the whole reason I booked the rooftop, but I also wanted it to feel a little personal. Since my vision for the wedding is rustic, I brought a few decorative pieces from home: wooden LOVE signs and framed photos of us. I sprinkled mini eucalyptus pots atop the tables. And my personal favorite: instant cameras. A metal bin housed my Polaroid and Lomo’Instant cameras as well as extra film and a “love” box to collect the photos. It was a big hit, and everyone loved posing for these memories.
Music
Music may or may not be something you’re interested in for your bash. Make sure you have all the hookups you need if you’re supplying yourself. Our venue gave us the option of bringing our own playlist or streaming Spotify. We put Top 40’s on and let the digital player do the rest.
Dress Code
We told everyone the dress code would be business casual (def make sure this is something you let them know). I’d guess I spent much more time on my own outfit than any of you will, but all I have to say is, dress to impress while being mindful of the vibe. If you’re the engaged couple, you’ll be the guests of honor. And don’t be afraid to not wear white, girl. I’m a pretty non-traditional bride, my dress was nude and white. Also, do not forget to marry the shoe, meaning you pick shoes you can wear until you get home.
Party Time
Plan out your day so you have time to do everything you need to before the party. We arrived an hour early to set up, iron out the finer details with our amazing bartender (like when the food would come out), set up a tip jar for her, put on Supergoop sunscreen, touch up makeup, etc.
I also asked my four babes to come by a little early, which is where I asked them all to be my bridesmaids with some gifts. We were able to share such a special moment together (while Gio so graciously captured some photos as it was going down), and I am beyond honored and excited they all said “yes” to standing next to me while I say “I do.” I couldn’t imagine doing this damn thing without them. Second installment of my Bridal Diaries is my bridesmaid proposals!
It was the most gorgeous day. High of 83. Sunny with just a sprinkle of clouds. We honestly could not have asked for better weather. Or a better venue. I cannot say enough amazing things about our coordinator, bartender, food/drink, etc. They helped make it seamless and perfect. If you’re in NYC, hit me up for all the deets.
Our family and friends arrived right on time and immediately began introducing themselves to each other while grabbing a glass of prosecco at the bar. Being a smaller group, we were able to catch up and mingle with everyone without it feeling rushed or ingenuine. Compliments flew all night about the views, food, dranks, all the way down to the entire celebration. Apparently, it was so good, they’re all expecting me to throw another party next year—same time, same place. Guess we’ll just have to figure out who’s going to paying for that one, haha!
If you take anything from this blog post, it’s this: enjoy your day. If it’s not you, make sure the couple enjoys their day. It was one of the best days of our lives, and we will never forget it.
I’m always here if you have questions or need help planning. Just drop me a note or DM! Happy planning, babes.
A few links—
Venue: Boro Hotel
Food: Beebe’s
Dress: White Fox Boutique, wearing size L
Shoes: Zodiac, wearing a 7.5
